Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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