I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm both gender and math confused
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
