Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
