I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
