we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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