She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
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i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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