I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
