Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
