Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
