I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
