fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
