Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
