dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
