i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
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You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
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Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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