they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
