I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm gonna have a badass scar
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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