My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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