its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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