there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You can't just leave with hair like that
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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