There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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