I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize