Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
