Well apparently he's into motor boating.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
