And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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