so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
