why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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