Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
