I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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