We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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