Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
