i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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