I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
