remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
