how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
