It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
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On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize