Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
