he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
This baby is an asshole
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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