good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
