I hate all girls vehemently.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
