No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
im six kinds of drunk right now
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
