he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
