Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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