So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
