I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
