You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
