We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I am midnight drunk by noon
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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