I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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