to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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