this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
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Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
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How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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