1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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