Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
