I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
