Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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