Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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