From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
