They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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