i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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