I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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