i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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