wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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