Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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