Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
