I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
